Split Personalities

My boyfriend has come up with a new nickname for me. Annie. When I am stressing about eating or giving him a hard time about how much I am going to eat, etc he calls me Annie. He wakes up every morning and asks me who is there….Annie or Megan? He says that Annie is evil and that he misses his sweet, princess Megan….the person who was happy and confident and ate like a normal person. The funny thing is that is exactly how I feel….like a split personality. Megan KNOWS how ridiculous she is. Megan is the woman inside who wakes up and gets dressed every morning with confidence. Annie is the one who takes over and starts the voices. The voices saying ‘that’s to many calories”….”just press on even though you are hungry and can’t sleep…you’ll fall asleep eventually.” Annie is sick, and she makes my life hell.

Annie was with me last night. I was made to go to a Chinese restaurant. I would classify this as the worst possible type of restaurant I would be made to go to. Chinese restaurants are the epitome of fat and sodium….an anorexic hell. I ordered something very sensible. Mixed Veggies as my side and Beef and Broccoli as my main. I of course had already researched the menu and caloric value of it all. Truthfully, the calorie content was much better than if I was forced to eat a commercially made sandwich, etc. We were eating as a family so I had to be strong. Annie literally made Megan have to get up from the table to go to the bathroom to cry because I couldn’t make myself eat the meat in the dish. Even though my heart is hanging on by a thread, I was sitting there crying over the fact that I could not eat the food in front of me.