Sunday, July 22, 2007

The Water is Warm

Life is for living. Maybe some of my troubles stem from my inability do that. I pretend to live. I play to the ideals and ideas of what that means. I backpacked Europe….I’ve jumped out of planes….I’ve let loose and know how to be crazy…but do I feel? I report to life the way a worker reports to their simplistic, mundane job for their 9-5 shift….thoughtlessly and effortlessly. I’ve gone through the motions and checked all the boxes for 30 years.

But how do I feel? WHAT do I feel? Do I know how to hurt? Do I know how to give and to expose?

I’m coming to a realization that MAYBE I know nothing about what it means to LIVE. I know nothing about what it means to THINK. I’ve failed to take advantage of those beautiful connections that God leaves for those who are willing to dig. Skimming the surface and only dangling your feet in the water means missing out on the feel of how the water can completely engulf your body…the numbing feeling of the cold…the complete refreshment at the end…..and that comfortable, gratifying exhaustion after succumbing yourself wholly to the water.

I’m ready to cannonball in and get my hair wet every time. I’m ready but I’m not sure how to do it.

Fear stops me. Fear of what I’ll find and how those realizations will change my life. I’m hanging off a cliff grasping a tuft of grass to keep me from plummeting to my death. I forget I have another strong arm and a steady place to grab onto to pull myself up. I choose to put my faith in that slippery and fragile patch of grass because it is what I know. I have a fear that I will fall when I’m changing over to the other hand.

Yielding to that fear is part of living life and experiencing the liberation of knowing how to try.

Go dive in, Megan...the water is warm.

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1 comment:

dale mitchell said...

The long awaited rains have fallen hard upon the thirsty ground and carved their way to where the wild and rushing river can be found ...and like the rains I have been carried here to where the river flows.
My heart is racing and my knees are weak as I walk to the edge.
I know there is no turning back once my feet have left the ledge.
And in the rush I hear a voice that's telling me it's time to take the leap of faith...
So here I go.

I'm diving in. I'm going deep. In over my head, I want to be caught in the rush, lost in the flow. In over my head, I want to go.
The river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive...so sink or swim, I'm diving in.

There is a supernatural power in this mighty river's flow. It can bring the dead to life and it can fill an empty soul. And give a heart the only thing worth living and worth dying for. But we will never know the awesome power of the grace of God, until we let ourselves get swept away into this holy flood. So if you'll take my hand, we'll close our eyes and count to three, and take the leap of faith...Come on let's go!!

Rom. 11:33-36 / Eph. 3:16-19

July 23, 2007 at 4:15 PM

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