Fighting It

I’m tired of being controlled. I’m tired of hearing all the damage I’ve done to my body. I’m tired of doctors. I’m tired of all the attention I am getting and anxiety surrounding meal times. I’m tired of people asking me what I’ve eaten. I feel fine. I just want all this to GO AWAY. I want to be left alone for a while to give myself some time to process and see what kind of progress that I can make on my own. I need some time to come around on my own…not forcibly, but consciously. I know that I can do this, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. Every day that goes by I get stronger and eat more. Every day that passes where I have evidence that my body hasn’t changed even though I’ve eaten, I get mentally stronger. But every time that I go to the doctor, I root my feet into the ground a little more feeling defeated.