Burying My Head

A child.
Tenuous and scared.
Always questioning her worth.
Not thinking because then I might feel the lack.
Silencing the persistent screams of inadequacy.
Burying my head in the sand out of weakness.

A woman.
Flimsy and timorous.
Concealing the sting of self doubt.
Filling the hole frivolously.
Ignoring the persistent bawl of my mind.
Burying my head in the sand out of fear of knowing the truth.

I was hurt.
By someone I loved.
He judged and criticized my beauty.
I learned to believe what I had already told myself.
Already fragile, he broke me.
Disregard and run to escape the deafening screams.
Bury my head in the sand to assuage the unremitting sting.

Control the unrelenting cacophony in my head.
Control the screams of insipidness.
Control through a nocuous restriction.
Control through not loving or exposing.
Burying my head in the sand.